he asked to stay till the morning and I said yes before I thought about it

We have been seeing the same man since February, roughly monthly, and it has been the easiest part of our lives.

Two weeks ago at the end of an evening he asked, quite casually, whether he could stay over next time rather than driving back at one in the morning. My wife looked at me. I said yes, immediately, in the tone of a man for whom this was obviously fine.

It is not obviously fine and I have thought about almost nothing else since.

I have been trying to work out what my actual objection is and I cannot get it into one sentence. Some of it, in no order:

It is our house in the morning. Evenings are one thing. The idea of the three of us in a kitchen at eight o’clock with the radio on is a different proposition entirely and I cannot decide whether it is worse or just more.

There is no obvious end. An evening ends when he leaves. A night ends whenever somebody decides it has ended, and I do not know who that is.

I do not know where I am supposed to be. We have a spare room. I do not know whether being in it is the point or is pathetic, and I do not know how to ask that question out loud.

And underneath all three, a suspicion that this is a step we are taking because he asked rather than because we decided, which is not how anything else in this has gone.

My wife’s view is that it makes practical sense, that he has an hour’s drive, and that I am building a cathedral out of a spare bed. She may be right.

The evening is three weeks away. So: do people do overnights? Did it change anything? And if you have gone back on a yes like this, how did you say it without it becoming an enormous conversation about trust?