Journals and blogs discussion

Hi everyone.

I have always desired bondage and light S/M, but I didn’t realize that enforced chastity combined with orgasm delay was exactly what I wanted. About a week ago, I decided to try something new and stumbled into the idea of being both chaste and submissive. I’ve known for a long time that I am a sub, but my wife never quite engaged as a Dom. Her interest in sex was low and infrequent, while mine was high and frequent. Sometimes I would masturbate twice a day every single day for weeks on end, feeling lonely and angry the whole time. When she wasn’t in the mood (which was most of the time), I always felt rejected and grew resentful.

I decided it was time for a change. I asked her to enter into a Power Exchange program with me for one month, where SHE would decide what happens at night if anything. The key point is that she had to make the decision; I was handing over power regarding our sex life. I laid out my desires: we should have sex at least once a month, and on other nights, she just needs to engage me in some activity, even if it’s just telling me to lie naked next to her for five minutes or cuddling.

Yes, I am an aggressive submissive. But really, I’m just trying to communicate my needs clearly.

She was surprised and not entirely happy (as expected). She felt I was demanding something without offering much in return. Recognizing that this might be difficult for her, I found a 20-sided die and told her to roll it when I wasn’t around. The number rolled would determine the next time we had sex, and she didn’t have to tell me exactly when it happened. If she chose not to be in the mood on that day, I wouldn’t know until later. The thought of being put off for weeks excited me greatly…

By doing this, I began facing my underlying rejection issues. For me, asking and getting a ‘no’ is rejection. Asking and hearing ‘not tonight, but I’ll let you know when’ feels like surrendering control.

That’s when I discovered male chastity devices. After reading up on them, I think I found a solution that makes it as easy for my wife as possible. If I am locked up and she holds the only key, then I have surrendered power to her. So, I went out and ordered the CB-6000.

I continued talking with her and trying to keep communication open. I’m honest: I am asking her to do this because it fulfills my needs. I want to serve her in any way possible. We discussed our arrangement; I offered that I want to be denied most of the time but used by her for pleasure. Back rubs, foot massages, running her bath, cuddling, serving her orally, or just lying there naked—whatever she wants, or even nothing at all. As long as she makes the decision—I can offer, and she can say no. She often teases me with “maybe tonight …”

I explained the benefits of orgasm denial and male chastity: how they completely shift my focus toward pleasing her. I make sure to bring her coffee in bed every day. I clean up, do laundry, cook meals, hang her clothes, and sit beside her while she watches TV each night. And I offer to satisfy her sexually however she desires.

In that spirit, she has graciously allowed me to serve her more times this week than she did over the previous year.

She might just be warming up to her role as bedroom Dom:-) I say ‘bedroom’ Dom because we’ve been married for 20 years and have always operated as a team. I don’t think either of us wants a full-blown ‘lick my boots’ dynamic. But I hope this helps her explore her sexual needs more deeply. I believe she is getting quite turned on by the power in the bedroom:-)

js ps - please feel free to comment, criticize, etc. openly. I have a lot to learn on this journey and bear the responsibility of ensuring my wife is happy as well as myself. This may be a light D/s relationship for now, but who knows where it will go?

Hello JS! This is my first post here. I just want to mention that one year ago, my wife and I had a very vanilla and boring sex life. Now she has me locked up. My wife is sleeping soundly... One year ago, I was in your situation, so I suggested that my wife become the owner of my cock. I said it half-seriously and partly as a joke. Well, that really changed our sex life. My wife didn't hesitate to take advantage. After some time, I made a simple chastity device out of clear plastic. Now she is in full control and she really likes it. I now sleep in a nightie and wear her panties and often a bra. She always asks for the key if I need to unlock for any reason. In daily life, I do much more housework; when she buys groceries after work, she calls me so I can carry the bags home. In the evenings, it’s mostly routine: we go to bed quite early, and my job is to satisfy her. I get unlocked for a few hours on Saturday evenings. Sometimes she needs to feel me inside her in between. We always make small jokes, and she loves teasing me. Over this last year, she has gotten used to being the boss. Be careful! Your life can change faster than you expect!:help-0031: