Introductions discussion

Greetings everyone. I’m returning to this platform after a long hiatus from chastity, during which I deeply examined why my wife’s control over my orgasm is such an obsession. (Previously sissyetmissycocu, but had to switch emails for reasons best left private.) This time around feels more serious, though the sheer amount of criticism aimed at anything male-centric—especially here in the Bay Area—easily discourages me. Partly because I’ve learned to embrace my sexuality without shame. I came back to male chastity after pondering these questions: Why do I want to be locked up? I’m a pervert, a deep one. When unlocked, I suffer from chronic masturbation fits, constant gazing at men, deviant thoughts, and other distractions. Chastity gives me the chance to save my sexual energy for my wife and family while allowing time to sit with my thoughts, analyze them, dig deeper, and discover new, exciting forms of perversion. Before, I thought it was a cure for being perverted; now there’s no such thing as a cure, but rather chastity refines that perversion in my mind. The more I explore, the more I realize I must accept my sexuality as an integral part of myself to truly love who I am. What do I do when my wife occasionally loses interest in chastity? Occasionally, she gets weary from being my dominant. As her submissive, I understand that sometimes one wants to let go and take a break to recharge their creative and controlling energies for the next round. The issue is that without control, I lose it too. I might spend hours reading captions of increasing depravity, draining myself, leaving my wife unsatisfied. What do I get out of this experience? I gain self-control and clearer thinking. With more energy available for my wife’s desires, the household feels happier overall. Sexually, I needed to view chastity from a different angle—perhaps a slightly selfish one. I ran an experiment: locking myself up independently while going about work. Without the D/s dynamic, I felt a unique rush—the thrill of being caught inappropriately adjusting my device, or having someone notice a strange bulge. Images popped up of me thrown into a cell with inmates knowing full well what was encasing me, or a room of respected colleagues humiliating me for workplace transgressions (far-fetched? yes, but exciting). Basically, confinement sends my imagination running wild. Does self-training undermine my ultimate goals? Given the above: no. What am I looking for in this community? Mainly support. Someone to help keep me on track when I have to rely on myself to stay locked. A friend—a confidant for such a delicate part of life, someone with whom I could discuss anything over coffee or tea. I look forward to posting more and challenging myself to longer stretches. Hope to hear from you all soon. Plus, thinking about sex helps keep my mind off stressful things like politics.