Introductions discussion

As you might have gathered from my name, I hold a strong fetish for chastity, which my wife has shared and enforced (to varying degrees) over many years. We haven’t done it all, but we’re close. Cuckolding - mild to wild, check. Chastity - naturally - that’s where it all began. Forced feminization or obvious sissyhood? No. And I believe that is precisely why I am here. It is the one thing I have never even brought up. Neither has she, except for calling me a sissy once in a while. The irony is that it is my most obvious and deepest desire. For me, chastity symbolizes emasculation and the taking of manhood. Over time, I’ve come to believe this is why so many are drawn to it. In our marriage, I play more the role of wife than husband in so many ways. But dressing, acting, and looking like a sissy has never been part of my experience. The last 7 years of my marriage would likely be any submissive’s dream, yet one aspect remains untouched and unexplored: becoming a sissy - a femme man. Dressing up. Being as pretty as I can manage. Our lives aren’t ideally suited for this specific activity. Dresses, makeup, wigs, and nail polish cannot easily be hidden beneath pants or camouflaged. Yes, I am shaven around the crotch and chaste. But that is only part of it. I know I should be content with what I have - I never imagined being chastised for months on end or controlled/dominated by my pretty wife to such an extent as she has embraced. Yet every time I see a picture of a pretty sissy - especially one who is chaste - I think: THAT IS ME! On one hand, I feel like a spoiled sub who should be happy with what I have; there is much for which to be thankful. On the other hand, I feel incomplete. The idea of being completely smooth and completely femme resonates powerfully within me, so I know I will bring it up to her again - even though she does not want to hear any more of my ideas. She didn’t explicitly say that; I can just tell. Besides, she is happy that I am chaste, cleaning the house, doing laundry, servicing her, etc. The only thing that would make it better for me is… well, I’ve already told you. I should stop fibbing - I am afraid to ask her to let me go further regarding feminization. I can sense a line there; she doesn’t even need to voice it, I just feel it. She LOVES chastising me and the occasional tryst with another man (and sometimes more). But I think what she would balk at is this: Being a real sissy - in appearance as well as action. She knows who I am and often treats me that way. However, she seems uninterested in making me LOOK that way. Has anyone else experienced these same feelings? Anyway, thank you for the forum and for letting me air my thoughts. I suppose I am a spoiled brat for wanting it all.