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Great tips for new Dommes.. A bit long, but absolutely worth the read:tongue: Wolfie The Wives’ View Submitted by: Mistress Angela Chastity has been a point of interest between Mark and me—my husband—we’ve shared twelve years together. It took on greater significance five years ago when it became central to our daily lives. Because I work in insurance, travel is frequent for me, while he often puts in long hours at his job as an executive in engineering. We noticed that our intimacy was slowly fading. When Mark encouraged me seriously about trying chastity devices for him, I decided to explore nearly every option available to reignite the spark in our marriage. While Mark handled the initial research into finding the right device, I focused heavily on figuring out how to make a chastiture lifestyle work effectively for us.
I believe that being knowledgeable is key to doing things well. Whether you are reading this to help your own research or it was given to you by your partner, one thing stands clear: if you have an interest in the remarkable concept of male chastity and its advantages, why wouldn’t you take the time? There is plenty online about chastity; I started with a wonderful commentary by Marie. Several internet support groups and chat rooms pop up as people join or leave over the years. Over the past few years, I’ve spoken with more than two dozen wives who keep their husbands in chastity. Some of these women are ones I have met face-to-face. The consensus among them is that the benefits for their partners are incredible. It can be surprising—just as it was to me—to realize how many men and women incorporate chastity into their relationships, far more than you might guess. A newspaper article not long ago noted that well over a million plastic CB2000/3000-style devices have been sold. This proves that male chastity is less unusual than people assume and is being practiced widely, likely by some of your own friends.
This document summarizes what I’ve learned from talking with other women and practicing this lifestyle with Mark for several years. My hope is it helps other wives who are considering a chastiture life for their husbands.
Before you decide to put your man in a device, ask yourself these questions: Are you unhappy with the amount of attention he gives you now? Do you feel part of the issue is that he focuses too much on pornography or other women? Has he admitted to masturbating excessively? Would you be willing to forego intercourse if it meant receiving more attention and oral sex in return? Have you noticed your relationship drifting as he has become more distant? Are you ready to take charge and put in the work to make your connection new and exciting again? If so, chastity might be right for your husband.
In pop psychology terms: Mars and Venus were drawn together, courted each other, and fell in love. They married. Eventually, Mars retreated into his cave—a common male tendency—and found it easier to masturbate there than to engage with Venus. He rarely emerges to pay her attention. Venus assumed that marriage meant he was hers forever, a continuous fairy tale. She ignored the advice of wise mothers for generations who said you must keep making your man want you because it seemed sexist and unnecessary in modern times.
What should a sensible Venus do if she wants a happy lifelong union? She must stop letting her marriage slip by passively. The first step is taking control by preventing Mars from masturbating in his cave via a chastity device. Second, Venus enthusiastically embraces her biological and psychological role in keeping Mars aroused. Third, she directs Mars’ problem-solving nature toward how he can please her, rather than assuming happiness comes only from figuring out what pleases him.
To make it work, you need a plan followed by wholehearted action. After reading widely and communicating with many others, the strong consensus was clear: for chastity to change your marriage, it must be real, not just a game. It needs to be a 24/7 part of your relationship. That constant presence is what positively changes men because they lose the chance to control their own release. This is an area where the goddess, lady, mistress—or whatever title you choose—must have absolute authority.
Although she remains in charge, remember that you are still a couple; he is still your husband and shouldn’t be forgotten once the bedroom door closes. Life continues as normal: jobs, finances, family issues remain. Your dominance won’t disrupt these areas, though you will notice him reacting differently—often positively—as his emotions shift.
Whether he initiated it, you both agreed mutually, or you requested it from him, one necessity remains: there must be something in it for him. He is giving up a vital part of male life: sexual release—and thus needs reward just as you do, though in different ways. You know what arouses him and brings a smile to his face. Often these are things that don’t interest us much, but considering his sacrifice, we can make compromises too. Like marriage, chastity requires mutual rewards. The things you use to reward him often increase his arousal and improve his overall demeanor. It might be giving massages or trying sexual acts he likes which you hadn’t wanted before. Dressing in ways that turn him on helps; if you don’t know his fetishes yet, discover them and indulge them. All this heightens his happiness.
He is making a permanent lifestyle change, so you may need to make some lasting adjustments too, ensuring he feels things are fair.
All men will masturbate when able, often more than most women expect. This habit is hard for him to control and even harder to give up. Young men have plenty of testosterone, so masturbation doesn’t hinder their pursuit of younger partners. However, as they age, frequent masturbation usually leads the husband ignoring his wife for a few days at a time. Chastity stops this cycle and works in multiple ways: it alters mood, demeanor, and libido. Most importantly, it shifts his desire to please you.
The goal isn’t necessarily for him to cook or clean or do laundry—though these will happen eventually—not out of routine but because as he builds sexual energy without the ability to release it freely, that energy diverts toward pleasing you. You becoming the source of his pleasure changes how he feels; he adores and loves you in the way you desire, eager to please you since you hold the key to his release. Over time, he finds happiness because you are happy. He will cherish the emotional boost shared between you.
How do you do it? That decision is extremely important.
The most detailed part of the research process. By taking advice from many other women, I put together a well-informed plan that I was confident would succeed. I have followed this plan since day one and still do to this very day. It works for me. At least a dozen other ladies have also used variations on it successfully.
We must always remember that we are sexually in command and that first and foremost, we will always be sexually satisfied. This is the cornerstone of happiness for both you and him. Keeping you sexually satisfied is your husband’s job. Mark does so anywhere and anytime I say, by any means that I demand. His inability to experience orgasm only means that I get many more than ever before.
You might think this works solely to your advantage, which is a common misconception. It is just as advantageous for him. He must keep you satisfied to eventually earn his release, and every time he satisfies you, he is happy because he has made you happy. It is important to instill in him that his primary means of sexual gratification will be through yours. Eventually, whenever you experience an orgasm, he too feels a sense of sexual satisfaction.
How I accomplish this, I shall explain shortly. What could be better than being pleasured any way you like and experiencing wonderful sensations? He cannot have an orgasm, but he feels satisfied because you are, allowing him to maintain a high libido. Although you remain equals outside the home, you are the queen of the bedroom while he is your slave.
To enforce that you indeed have control, it is important that he is forced to adopt and maintain a change in appearance—something distinct between you two. This should be something embarrassing for him when out in public, so it ought to be concealed. Generally, this means wearing something under his clothes; replacing his underwear with ladies’ panties or requiring an overweight man to wear a girdle are popular examples. Some women believe that focusing on the feet is best: easily covered or uncovered based on your orders, and modifications can be removed when necessary and reapplied later.
In my case, Mark wears a gold ankle bracelet and must paint his nails with clear polish, except during occasions I instruct him to do something different. Except for work and exercise, he must wear the footwear I designate. High heels are particularly favored since he likes them on me and looks so funny trying to walk in them. This does absolutely nothing for my sexual pleasure directly, but it reinforces to him that I am in control.
Achieving your desired results is easier than you might think; it is an empowering experience. Depending on your situation there will be differences, but parameters should be followed to achieve the greatest results. The most important step is always the first one: making him understand that you control his sexual pleasure from this point forward. Most women agree it is best to lay out the terms of the new relationship in strong language. Many favor a written contract, which I followed, leaving no room for confusion.
My terms and the consensus advice are that he agrees to having his penis pierced and permanently locked in a chastity device of your choosing; that you alone have the power to grant him an orgasm (and may decide never to allow another); that he performs all domestic and sexual services you request; and that he accepts discipline in any way you deem appropriate. Because he is locked, you may need other people for some of your needs.
Anything less than this suggests he has not admitted there was a problem, or the solution isn’t permanent/effective, or he hasn’t given up total control of his sexuality to you.
Having other sexual partners—cuckolding—is controversial. Some women had many partners alongside their locked-up husbands; some bisexual women added female partners while keeping only one husband on the male side—a nice arrangement if your proclivities lean that way. A few had a fling or two, perhaps comforted by their agreement with their husband. Most, however, did not seek other partners because once their hubbies were locked up, they received all the sex and attention they wanted. Some teased their husbands about seeing others; a few admitted that without this arrangement, they would have sought affairs due to feeling unloved.
It is almost universally held by serious practitioners of male chastity that initial enforcement should be at least three months of continuous wear after the break-in period for getting a fitting device. Preventing orgasm for three months may seem harsh but is paramount to success as it allows his body and mind to adjust to the lack of masturbation and sexual pleasure.
Enforcing this first three-month period helps him get into the proper frame of mind, understand your desire and commitment, and gives you strength to say “no.” He should be aware of the timeframe immediately upon securing the device for clear understanding. If he is uncooperative during these months, add time to his lockup. I gave Mark a one-week extension as a warning about whining, and another month when he bluntly said he needed out. After that, no more incidents occurred (though I considered three months for the next offense). I agree with experienced women: you cannot be too strict regarding the initial period if you want to achieve triple goals—getting past feeling duty-bound to give orgasms, getting him focused on pleasing you, and becoming comfortable in charge.
In retrospect, I think I came down hard on Mark because I felt myself falling into the trap of letting him have an orgasm due to seeing his frustration. I am glad I didn’t. When I finally let him out, it was on my terms.
After talking with several women, I strongly hold that setting the initial period at one year is even better, with further extensions for serious misbehavior. After three months, your husband may be willing to do almost anything for release—physically, the device has done its job—but mentally some men bounce back quickly once they cum and expect regular orgasms thereafter.
He signs a contract stating you can deny him permanently, but there is a big difference between telling him he can have an orgasm at three months versus saying it will be at least a year. A one-year horizon ends the fun-and-games excitement associated with chastity, making your agreement to lock him up permanent feel more real.
It is a serious commitment. Locking him up for a year signals that you are in it for the long haul, and once he hands over the key, there is no going back. Initially, living as chastity will be tough on him; a full twelve months without release makes this clear. You have effectively ended his days of sneaking off to masturbate behind your back. His life changes permanently. Instead of satisfying himself whenever he desires, he devotes that effort to you, doing it when and how you wish. Some women I spoke with noted their partners initially hesitate at the prospect of a year-long lock up. If this happens, it means he isn’t quite ready to surrender the necessary control for your relationship to thrive through chastity. Don’t force him; just gently remind him whenever the topic comes up that you will proceed on your own terms. Once he agrees, he is prepared, and you must uphold your part of the deal. You also need more than three months to figure out how best his lock suits you personally.
I was counting down the days until I could resume intercourse with Mark again. Knowing it would be at least a year allowed me to experiment and train him to pleasure me without worrying about whether he might climax prematurely. Mastering this shifts your relationship dynamic, setting both of you toward lasting happiness.
After his initial confinement ends, I assure you can give him an experience like no other—a true reward for the couple. You will feel strong enforcing it; he will have endured it with resilience. Let his orgasm be slow and drawn out, filled with teasing. It is all too easy for him to cum quickly. He may need to be tied down to keep on edge, but when you finally let go, the sensation might almost overwhelm his body.
Once you grant that first release, you decide everything: how many times he can climax, when they happen, and where the semen goes. A crucial step during any release window is ensuring he gets right back into his device. Some women do this by keeping him tied down before removing the lock. While traditional, there are other options. Fastening his hands behind his back with a pair of steel handcuffs prevents him from grabbing himself while you tease. I also use a waist belt with attached leather cuffs; it is simple and enjoyable to wear. You can find similar setups for cuffing his wrists to his thighs. A device known as a humbler works beautifully if he needs free hands to service you. If we are just checking the penis or ensuring cleanliness, I often attach handcuffs to one wrist or ankle before taking off the tube itself. Before removing those cuffs, he must be secured back inside his chastity tube. I am sure he would not dare go to work with a dangling cuff hanging on. Several other women have tried this method and found it effective. The less you worry about him arguing against immediate re-locking, the more often you can take the device off for inspection, which encourages teasing while keeping both his penis and the tube clean.
Opinions varied regarding how frequently a male should climax after the initial denial phase. Some wives with younger partners allowed weekly orgasms, likely because those men used to masturbate several times daily—a significant drop in frequency. However, most women I spoke with believed striking a balance between total denial and offering hope of release was best; you will need your own experiments to find that sweet spot. The prevailing view is that allowing more than one orgasm per month isn’t ideal, though many felt his climax shouldn’t be withheld for longer than three months unless there was a valid reason. Interestingly, several friends believe once a year is the perfect cadence. Some women like to compare their husband’s frequency as a fraction of her own—aiming for ratios like 100:1—but you can adjust these numbers to fit your schedule and encourage him to initiate sex more often. I suspect Mark would be unbearable, almost unstoppable, under such rules, but knowing yourself and your partner allows for flexibility.
Other women set goals that allow earlier orgasms if milestones are met. One wife I spoke with required her husband to lose forty pounds. After his first three-month lock ended, he received a mind-blowing release that made the effort worthwhile in his eyes. She then grounded him by explaining their relationship was so much better now that he was locked away; henceforth, he would only be released once a year. However, she offered an early-out: one extra release for every ten pounds lost during the year, with five additional months added to his lockup for every pound gained back. The results thrilled her. He shed fifty pounds and earned five bonus orgasms. Now, he is exactly where she wants him—fifty pounds lighter, locked on a yearly cycle, with the looming threat that gaining even half the weight back could extend his sentence beyond two years.
Men who cheated physically rather than merely masturbating chronically often faced harsher penalties from their wives. Other spouses quickly discourage any leniency for a husband caught straying. Some of these men remain permanently locked in formidable devices, forfeiting release entirely to avoid divorce. I have told Mark he is fortunate that his confinement prevents wandering, as I now know what can be done to an unfaithful spouse to ensure their suffering continues. He knows he would receive the full treatment and then some.
Personally, I find a good baseline is avoiding double-digit releases—fewer than ten per year. You might start with monthly releases and later decide you prefer longer periods between them. Increasing the interval suddenly is perfectly fine. If he asks why, simply explain: “I control your sexual capacity, and I enjoy denying you; the longer I withhold it, the more frustratingly horny you become, which gives me great satisfaction.” Currently, following advice from friends, I am having Mark go a full year without an orgasm to test how hard I can push him. We are eight months in now, and it has been wonderful. My teasing is intensified; managing Mark requires time and discipline. The reward? I have enjoyed more excellent sex than ever before, and Mark has become sweeter and more devoted to pleasing me than I dared hope. He does this without complaint since I promised an extra year if he succeeds.
The most frequent question from new wives regarding chastity is which device to choose. The consensus advice—which my own growing experience confirms—is to brace for some frustrating trial and error in finding the right fit, as no single device suits every man perfectly. It is much like buying shoes.
It needs to be custom-fitted. Comfort is key if he’s going to wear it around the clock, and security must be absolute for you to feel satisfied. There are two main styles: tubes and belts. Tubes typically feature a ring that sits over his shaft with another part behind the scrotum. Belts encircle the waist and include a tube attached to an anterior shield that keeps the penis pointed straight down. A well-made belt with a narrow tube is highly effective at curbing erections. Some belts offer attachment points on the front shield, allowing you to hook up a dildo for your use or insert one into his rectum. The downsides of belts are their cost, bulkiness, and generally lower comfort level compared to tubes for many men. Additionally, if his waist size fluctuates, they may need to be sent back for adjustments. Most women I’ve spoken with prefer tube devices, though some ladies own custom Neosteel () belts that they adore.
I possess two chastity tube devices from Mistress Lori (), a woman dedicated to ending male erections, masturbation, and infidelity. One is her number 7: a short, straight steel tube with a ring behind the balls for regular wear. The other is an acrylic number 14, which I use when Mark travels because it passes through metal detectors smoothly. Many other women also choose Lori’s tubes. Once you find the correct fit in one of her designs, you could keep your husband locked up indefinitely; he might never masturbate again. Some men have remained in her tubes for over a decade without cumming.
However, finding the right fit wasn’t simple. Many wives had to cycle through several devices or modifications before getting it right. A few were fortunate enough to get it correct immediately, but don’t rely on that luck. My best advice is patience and letting your husband do most of the work in securing a good fit since he’s the one wearing it constantly. Conduct trial lockups until he is ready for permanent confinement. Don’t be surprised if you still need to pause after a week or two to fix something or allow a piercing to strengthen further. If issues arise, remove the device and see if they can be resolved quickly. Sometimes there is just an irritated spot needing ointment or a few days off. If you have to send it back for alterations, reset your timeline once it returns; he starts fresh when locked up again. Eventually, the initial kinks will smooth out. I wish I had known this sooner because Mark and I had some discouraging periods before he could wear his device without issue for over a month. Slowly, I accepted that we might lock him down permanently, feeling satisfied that his secret masturbation days were finally behind us.
For both types of devices, keep three things in mind. First, his penis must be pierced so a bar or loop can secure it to the device. Otherwise, as many women discovered with CB3000-style devices, he will eventually figure out how to pull his cock free and masturbate behind your back. Once he does this, chastity becomes merely a game for him; you aren’t really in control. Many wives initially hesitated at piercing their husband’s penis. Some were deterred by the pain or worried about how it would feel internally during sex. Yet, not one of the women I spoke with regretted having her husband pierced once he was securely locked down. The procedure doesn’t hurt him much; if you dislike the look or feel of the jewelry, you can simply remove it while using his body. When I take off Mark’s device, I leave the tube rod on the bedside table. With the device removed, he has two small holes underneath that are barely noticeable.
A common sentiment among wives was regret over wasting time with toy-like devices such as the CB3000. They felt betrayed when they realized why their chastity seemed to fail: their husbands had learned how to secretly slip free and enjoy themselves. When this type of cheating is discovered, the advice from other women is immediate piercing followed by a full year-long lockup rather than just three months, due to the dishonesty involved. This extended period was one reason several of us noticed the superior results compared to shorter terms.
You can choose either a Prince Albert (PA) or a frenum piercing for him. A PA is a single hole (6 or 8 gauge) through the underside and out through the urethra slit, while a frenum piercing (also 6 or 8 gauge) goes sideways through the skin behind the head of his penis on the underside. Both have pros and cons. Many men resist the PA because it causes urine to spray from both the bottom hole and the slit, requiring them to sit down more often—a necessary habit anyway once they are permanently locked up. I believe the world’s women would rejoice if all males were chastised and toilet seats stayed down.
Getting a PA piercing is nearly painless and heals relatively quickly, though urination can be painful for the first few times afterward, with some bleeding for several days. It is wise to wait at least three months before applying the device to ensure full healing; if it feels tender after trial breaks, you may need an additional month or two.
Mark has a frenum piercing, which is less visible than the ring used in a PA because it uses a bar under the skin rather than through. Its main drawbacks are slower healing and a tendency for “migration” during the first attempt—where the hole shifts forward until it breaks free or must be removed. This occurred with Mark and several other women I talked to had similar experiences. The usual culprit is putting on the device too soon, but migrating out seems almost inevitable for many men initially. Fortunately, he can get a second frenum piercing behind the first one, which usually holds true due to scar tissue preventing further migration. Waiting about four months ensures it heals properly. I might have chosen a PA if I had known about these issues early on, even though Mark was hesitant.
The frenum offers three distinct advantages. The primary benefit is that it inflicts significantly more pain when his penis attempts an erection compared to the PA. As hardness increases, the frenum rod digs deeply into the base of the shaft behind the sensitive head, making the deflating pinch characteristic of Lori’s tubes much sharper and nastier. Overall, a Lori tube with a frenum provides stricter chastity than one with a PA. Mark has experienced this many times; I suspect if given the choice, he would eagerly accept a PA over the frenum despite its severity. However, I have come to appreciate this feature because it prevents him from getting hard at all, even in his confined space.
e of his chastity tube unless I decided to let him. I also think that a frenum helps to reduce your hubby’s wanting to be all over you physically. This is a problem most women have once he is in chastity which is a little odd after years of little physical affection from him. This problem has to be dealt with by your being firm about what you are willing to allow and where. When I deliberately tease Mark, I sometimes pull the frenum rod out of the chastity tube as a signal that it is ok to now try to get an erection without being punished for the effort by the frenum rod. You don’t need to worry though because the tube will still stop the erection from going very far and increase his frustration. One of the women I talked with, whose hubby had a problem with his PA piercing, got him pierced the second time with a frenum and put him in a tighter Lori’s tube. She said with his PA tube on he still looked at porn all the time, although the PA tube had prevented him from successfully masturbating so the porn just made him hornier. The much greater pain the smaller frenum tube inflicted on any attempted erection, however, put a stop to his porn habit. Another upside of the frenum is that the PA bar can have a mean pinch for some men if their penis shrinks too much but the pull on the frenum is quite mild if the tube is short enough. The last advantage is that the two holes that the frenum rod goes through will close up much like an earring hole if it is not used whereas as the PA hole is more or less permanent. This would not be an issue for me now that I have seen the benefits of permanent chastity and would never go back to letting Mark freely masturbate. It might be though for a woman who initially wanted to try out a serious chastity program but was not sure it was going to work. One of the questions that is often asked is what should you do during while the piercing is healing. During the first month his penis should not have sex of any kind but after that it is ok with a condom. You can use the time period when the piercing is healing to get him started on pleasuring you. Some of the women also bought a CB3000 chastity device to help get the process started of hubby’s being in chastity started. This seems to work well. The CB3000 will toughen up the skin behind where the teste ring will fit on a Lori’s tube and if you get him an insert for CB3000 from or it will be very difficult for him to pull out and almost impossible for him to get his penis back in. These inserts can cause edema or swelling so I don’t think they are a good long term solution. I have a CB3000 with an insert and it works well for a few days. I still use my CB3000 occasionally when I want to give him a break from his Lori’s tube without letting him out of chastity. All chastity devices can some time rub spots in the wrong way occasionally so it is not bad to have a couple which fit differently if you can afford it. If you cannot afford a custom fit device it is possible make a CB3000 secure if you lock his piercing to it. This is not good to lock his penis to a chastity device until it is fully healed no matter how much you want to get started. Long term a custom fit device is going to be more comfortable for him to wear and will prevent erections which a CB3000 does not. I think it is worth the investment. The second thing you need in a chastity device is to get him in the smallest tube his penis will fit in while soft so he can not get an erection in the device. Because a small tube quickly limits the growth of his penis it also keeps the pressure off the piercing. Often the original tube ordered turned out to be too wide or too long because of the male’s optimistic measurements or fear of being too confined. After a while in a chastity tube, the penis has a tendency to shrink a bit which makes the getting the right sizing initially difficult. Males who are what is known as growers, their penis get much larger when excited, are much harder to fit than those who are showers, those whose penis gets hard but not much larger. If you get the tube too small his penis will get fluid retention which is called edema but otherwise, smaller is better. You want him completely dependent on you for getting an erection and a smaller tube will actually be more comfortable after he has adjusted to it. A loose tube can also allow enough growth from an erection that with sliding the tube up and down or a vibrator on it some males can successfully masturbate. The last thing is that the device needs to prevent him from rubbing his penis particularly the head. Many males if they can rub the head can cum although it is a pretty frustrating orgasm almost akin to milking and hence not much to worry about except that you want him completely under your control. Chastity belts work best on this account since they completely deny access to the penis. If you get a Lori’s tube or one its competitors make sure you get it with extra bars over the penis head area. I don’t know why Lori doesn’t do this automatically for all of her devices. Lori does make short device in both stainless steel and acrylic without any hood she calls a wedding ring that attaches with a frenum piercing. Several of the women I talk with have one. Some use it full time and some put it on when they want to engage in really heavy teasing. If you get this narrow enough he cannot get off a real orgasm but can get off what is a very painful version of what is sometimes called a ruined orgasm where his body thinks it is going to cum but then the semen just dribbles out without any sense of relief. I don’t want my hubby to have any access to his penis much less be able to do this on his own. However, some of the women like it though since it tends to make their hubby even more frustrated. Lori’s wedding ring is lightweight and has no teste ring so it is much more comfortable for a male to wear. I have been thinking about getting one but just for teasing since it allows you to get at all the most sensitive parts of his penis without worrying about his being able cum. From time to time you might find it necessary to punish him for what ever reason, he might refuse to provide you with sexual pleasure as instructed or he spoke to you in a negative and degrading way; there are certainly many possible infractions. The most effective punishment is to increase his time of confinement; this should always be done in at least a week increment but you will probably find that additions of two weeks or a month will be more effective unless you like having him continually testing you which I don’t. As an example let’s say he was tired or in a bad mood and failed to enthusiastically provide oral sex to you one evening. If this happens it is imperative that you do what he would not. Masturbate yourself to as many orgasms as you like, he may then attempt to provide for you but you must not allow him to. After you have satisfied yourself let him know that his refusal requires that he be punished and that you have decided that an additional month will be added to the time that is already required. If he gives you any argument, add two or three months to his lock up time. You could also be creative by locking him up for one month for every time you orgasm and really go to town. Different from failing to do something is a sort of agitation that many males including mine sometimes get when they are in chastity as a result of their sexual frustration. Most of the time this finds a positive outlet in terms of showering you with attention, but sometimes your hubby will just need to be toned down. Good old fashion discipline in the form of corporal punishment is what many of us have found works well. Almost all the women I have talked with know their husbands are submissive to them but they are not wimps. In other parts of their life they tend to be dominant A-personalities types who exert lots of authority and are often high strung. Many ha
I have masochist tendencies as well. You can beat them yourself or it is easy to find a professional dominatrix who will do it for you. If you decided on the latter option, pro-doms are easy to find in most major cities and advertise openly on the internet. Look for a no-nonsense disciplinarian type rather than a sensuous or man hating type. The disciplinarians almost all believe that married men should be locked up in chastity devices and know that if they deliver a well whipped hubby back to you that they will have a long term client. This has become an increasing part of their business as the number of chastity devices sold increases since some wives no longer fear that the dominatrix would have sex with their husband if he is sent to be disciplined locked up. This is probably the last thing you need to worry about though since the last thing a well established pro-dom wants to do is have sex with a client.
If you think you might be tempted to let your hubby out early, have the pro-dom hold the key until the anniversary of his lock and tell her to talk you out of earlier relief when those thoughts arise. You can always pick up the key from her for a scheduled teasing or inspection. You can also send him to the pro-dom to have his tube and penis inspected if he complains that he is having problems with his tube. Having her administer severe punishment if the request is not justified should nip this type of behavior in the bud before it gets started. You can also have a girlfriend you trust hold the keys. If you think a little humiliation would do him some good, send him over to clean her house and let her increase his lockup time for less than perfect work. He will never get out.
I use to think that disciplining my hubby was a chore. Now when I beat him long and hard, though, he sometimes just melts under my cane and breaks down and cries. Afterward, I hold him tight in my arms for a long time and then have him go down on me. The feeling I get is hard to describe. It is almost magical. I now feel sorry that most wives will never experience moments of this intense closeness with their husband. There are times when Mark does something that really makes me mad. When he does, I send him to a great pro-dom I found. She usually starts with milking him, because when this happens he always gets at least a month added to his lock up. She really works over and he is always on his best behavior for quite a while after he comes back. I recommend this strategy for any woman who wants to separate out the loving discipline that their husband occasionally needs from them and the serious punishment he sometimes richly deserves, which can be contracted out to a merciless third party.
Prostate milking is a necessity if your male is locked up for over a month otherwise his prostate can get clogged up and his chance of getting prostate cancer increased. Milking causes a release of semen clearing out the prostrate but provides none of the satisfaction of an orgasm. A male is usually even more frustrated after a milking than before because he has been stimulated similar to an orgasm but not allowed to have it. Milking also helps to prevent nocturnal or spontaneous orgasms which can happen if he is locked up long enough without being milked or allowed to cum. You can look at prostate milking as a necessary procedure, a form of punishment or just fun. There are a number of ways to do it and milking is psychological more effective if done with the chastity device on. Some of the women use a rubber glove or anal probe specially designed for the purpose. This works but is slow and tedious. Using a strap-on and taking your man anally also works well if you go at it long enough and figure how to stimulate his prostrate. This is a favorite of many of the women I have talked with. They find it most amusing to orgasm themselves while forcing the semen to drool out of hubby’s chastity device with each in and out thrust. I give it a go every so often particularly when I want some penetration with a great arched doubled sided feeldoe dildo that some clever woman designed.
You can also use an electrical stimulation device. This is usually a quick and almost clinical procedure if done right. It is what I typically do since I usually like to think of milking as something that should be done for medical reasons without even a hint of sexual enjoyment for him. I have a PES unit which requires two attachments to complete the circuit. One of attachments is an anal probe that slides right in with some lube and hits the prostate. The other is a strap that goes around his balls. I put him in a humbler on his hands and knees. Then, I turn up the dials to the right frequency, which I had to experiment with some to find, and the semen just steadily drips out. A professional dominatrix is also usually happy to milk hubby if you don’t want to and corporal punishment administered after a milking is more effective. Prostate milking is a wonderful thing to do and it is hard to over do. The semen drooling out will reduce the male’s testosterone level though so he will be more mellow and docile after the milking. If you think that he is getting testy just put him on the milking stand and pump it out. Many men do not enjoy being penetrated rectally and they all really despise seeing their ejaculate expelled dripped out slowly without any sense of pleasure or release. Milking is a great way of reinforcing your complete control over his sexuality.
There may be times where you feel you have to unlock him to use his penis. Fortunately, there is a way to do this without letting him orgasm by using elamax numbing creme and several condoms. This usually works but there is always a small risk that he will cum especially if he has been locked for a long time. There are other alternatives that allow penetration without this risk. The easiest is to use is a strap-on dildo. There are two models, the feeldoe and nexus that were designed by women that will give you great stimulation while allowing you to taken him anally. The Tickleberry and Good Vibration’s websites are good places to look. There are also a number double sided penis gags that you can use to ride his face and there is even a dildo you can strap around his thigh. The most fiendish devices are those that fit over his penis. Lori sells a dildo sleeve that fits over the tube. The chastity tube does not have quite the right shape so it is not the most comfortable ride for you, but if you really want to get to him on the tease side it is hard to beat. He will be a wreck as there is no way the Lori’s tube will let him get erect but his mind and body will just keep on trying. Much better for your pleasure is a new device called Her Delight from the company that makes an insert to help prevent males from pulling out of their CB3000. This device uses the CB3000 teste ring to anchor a dildo that slides over hubby’s penis. He can get reasonably hard in it. This dildo is harder than Lori’s sleeve, but not too hard, so he gets very little in the way of stimulation that might lead to an orgasm. You on the other hand can have him keep at it as long you want and no worries that he will cum at all, much less too soon.
Every so often I and many of the women I have talked with want the real thing. To make these rare opportunities for him to have intercourse with you work for both of you, you need to recognize that after being locked up for a long time he will cum with a hair trigger. He is also unlikely to get as large as he did before long term chastity unless you take him out of the tube and get him hard on a frequent basis. You can avoid disappointment if you stimulate him to orgasm in some way other than intercourse when you first let him out of the tube. After he cums
When it happens for the first time and he recovers before the erection medication kicks in, achieving orgasm becomes much harder. Either of those drugs will help him stay firm even if another climax occurs. Some wives use their husbands for consecutive days of intercourse, treating this as one long release period before locking them up again for a longer stretch.
The key adjustments you need to make personally are committing to teasing him often—just like when you first started dating—and enjoying sex much more frequently yourself. These two things can overlap perfectly. Having your locked-up partner perform cunnilingus on you is almost certain to bring you close to the edge. Luckily, his device will stop him from going over completely. Keep in mind that every time he gets sexual pleasure without cumming, his desire for you grows stronger. If more women realized this secret, there would be many more husbands and boyfriends locked up. Remember, you have plenty of time to train him to do things your way without worrying about letting him off the hook. Once locked, all he does is fantasize about you.
You must decide whether you want to initiate sex or let him take charge. My usual dynamic with Mark is that I dictate when and how I wish to be pleased, and he drops everything else to comply. This might seem like a control issue on my part, but your preferences may vary. One friend prefers her husband to orchestrate elaborate romantic rituals. She rarely unlocks him during these times, though if he truly excels himself, she rewards him with an orgasm the following day. The sweet spot is when you get your partner to find pure joy in giving pleasure without worrying about his own cock. Mark isn’t quite there yet, but he’s getting close.
There are nearly endless ways to tease him. You could tie him down and remove the tube for hours of work on his shaft. Whenever you sense he is nearing climax, stop what you’re doing, straddle his face, and take one or more orgasms yourself. Stick with it as long as possible, and leave him feeling soft like a marshmallow. He might need ice to help slide back into the tube afterward.
Dress in outfits that drive him wild and make him stand nude at attention while you stroke every part of his body except for ignoring his cock. It will be hard for him to remain upright as he struggles against the growing pressure within the device. Every woman should develop her unique style, keeping things fresh through experimentation. Though it may seem like a lot of effort on your end, he will reward you with abundant attention. The challenge lies in maintaining that high level of attentiveness.
After being locked for some time, he will likely begin to worship you as if you were a goddess. Initially, this surprised some women I spoke with who felt their husband’s newfound devotion was somewhat artificial. It is partly fueled by rising testosterone levels, which also drove his earlier courtship efforts. Most men agree to the lock because they deeply crave that intense desire for you again.
You should reciprocate by demanding worship as a goddess while learning how to direct his attention in ways that benefit you most. His ideas of devotion may differ from what works best for you, but your desires take precedence here. You must maintain firm control if you are to be satisfied with the arrangement.
While physical teasing is important, conversation plays an even larger role. It requires little energy yet allows you to heighten his frustration effortlessly. Tell him what you appreciate about his situation and how much you value his efforts in becoming a better spouse, partner, friend, and lover. Let him know that your chastity turns you on; if watching him struggle amuses you, share that too. Perhaps you enjoy knowing he cannot touch himself—whatever it is, communicate clearly.
Do not forget that habits which used to annoy you, such as porn consumption or ogling attractive younger women, can now work in your favor. There is nothing quite like seeing his favorite eye candy pass by while the chastity tube bites firmly. A good device does more than just prevent erections and masturbation; it constantly works for you. It stimulates him at the first sign of arousal and quickly curbs any budding erection.
Never miss an opportunity to highlight things that might arouse him. You could even pick up his old favorite reading material related to masturbating together, flipping through it as a shared activity.
It is natural to have days where you want to ignore his predicament entirely. It is perfectly fine not to care about the time he spends without control over his manhood, and letting him know this is acceptable. However, do not go more than a few days without offering positive feedback regarding your decision to lock him up.
The crucial factor when locking someone up is making a genuine commitment—to yourself and to them—that this will work for both parties. I have advised women considering chastity that if they are unwilling to manage the teasing, discipline, sexual frequency, and associated effort, they might be better off in their previous dynamic where mutual neglect was common.
There is certainly a path to getting what you want, but it requires active participation. He cannot transform himself alone; your dedication combined with his device can mold him into the ideal husband you have always envisioned.
As your journey continues, incorporate ideas and reflections that suit your relationship best. Remembering core principles for keeping your partner under your spell allows both of you to discover chastity’s remarkable benefits. Always keep the upper hand by demonstrating that your requests are essential requirements for him. You will rarely want to let things slip back into his self-centered control.
Believe me, this routine is effective, and despite occasional feelings of heavy workload, long-term satisfaction makes it worthwhile.
There is an old saying among wives who embraced chastity because their husbands encouraged them: be careful what you wish for. Some husbands would happily return to their previous ways if given the choice, but few wives would. Deep down, men often feel happier because they desired sexual control by their partners and now receive it. Their new reality differs significantly from earlier fantasies because it is driven more by your desires than his original expectations.
Wives who persisted through finding a suitable device and shifting their mindset—from needing to provide orgasms to deserving them all—report being much happier overall.