Female led relationships discussion

I shared this status update earlier today: “I believe I’ve discovered a method to maintain permanent denial for him without using any device, and it doesn’t rely on his honesty. Really thrilled!!” @Joroincharge asked: “How?”, so I replied: Controlled numbing… achieved by banding his member once a week, or ideally once per month. We’ll see… If not done properly, there is risk. He seems happy with the results so far. Says it helps him relax greatly. He can still get erections and lasts much longer. He barely feels anything; certainly not enough to even approach an orgasm. Before this, I had to push him away at times, despite his endurance! @philfred commented: “Sounds very risky - surely a large amount of numbing cream is safer?” I decided to provide a more detailed response to that, first as comments and now compiled into a thread. Almost forgot how; it’s been a while since I last did this:-): Well, we have examined the risks closely, and neither of us has a castration fetish. But you are correct: small steps in a very controlled environment. It is not something applied impulsively, but it lasts much longer than any cream I’ve heard of. The application isn’t tied to sexual activity. It’s more like a ritual—if I may say so. He knows he might lose some sensitivity, which has actually been his goal for a long time. The frenum aspect was also a mutual desire: me for the aesthetics, him for endurance. He promised it would work out well, and it did, very quickly. He lives without orgasms but thrives on my ones, loving that he can serve me with penetration for as long as I wish. We are different people with different goals, and it took time for me to fully understand and accept his. It has been two and a half years—a straight path when looking back. I see many benefits in this approach for myself. From the start, I’ve focused on keeping gear minimal. I only use the double strap-on for playing with Anne, not BlueEyes. Being without keys, cages, rings around the cock, and who knows what else is a huge relief for me. I can touch him whenever I want. He stays exposed; I can leave him with Anne or send him on business trips, and he cannot cheat (I don’t think he would!!). I can even take him through airports etc… But yes, with care, taking small steps… Comments, concerns, questions, and experiences are welcome:-) Have a lovely day—hopefully better than here. It’s 13 degrees with rain on my day off…

You can always find horror stories related to any kind of kinky play and domination, but in the case of numbing, you can also find good experiences if done in a safe environment. I would like to share some of these—collected with my husband from our intensive research. Not to dismiss concerns or negative comments; they are appreciated as much as supportive ones! But to shed more light on the matter. I was enlightened! Banding is not necessarily tied to castration play. And we aren't using the so-called elastrator. Just thick rubber bands.... around his member, not the balls! I am new to this but have learned that cock-banding differs significantly from ball banding. The objectives are very different. ----------------- Couples sharing their experiences: After a long banding session, how long did your cock stay numb? :Mine was numb for several weeks after. I loved the feeling of a numb dick. Also unable to reach orgasm because it was so numb. :I had the same experience. At one point I banded daily for several days while fully flaccid. Managed to stay numb for about 3 months before sensation returned. It was great. Completely unable to orgasm while numb, but erections were fine; she was happy! :I band my totally flaccid cock for 1 hour. When it hangs there, numb and yellowish, I stop. Now at six o'clock here in Madrid, still totally, utterly numb, though good color and had nocturnal normal hard-ons. Can't orgasm. Love it. Now five days later after that one-hour banding at the root of my completely limp dick. Cock is still totally numb. Cannot orgasm or ejaculate, although I get normal, very hard erections. I love the feeling; like having a 'brain-dead' cock but which otherwise works. For me the feeling will return in 3-4 weeks. Same experience here. :I had this experience and prefer just a little bit of feeling so I can stay on edge without cumming. Very frustrating yet extremely horny. :Yes, I can get sustained numbness for several weeks where it is truly numb with no way to orgasm. Still get morning erections, and if really turned on, enough erection for some penetration. She likes that it's still possible as long she wants. No worries—I can’t cum! :Overall we enjoy the sensation greatly. I now basically band once per week to keep it permanently in this state for her. Sometimes a bit of feeling returns; in those cases an orgasm would be possible, I think, at points when really horny, but the orgasm feels weird because you still don't feel most of it and cum shoots out as a surprise. Happened once! The horniness with this numbness becomes incredible since I wasn’t used to going even a day without multiple orgasms then suddenly having relief impossible. Amazing feeling. Spending all my time pleasing her instead. :This is permanent. Some recovery does occur when not banding for months or even over a year, but that recovery is limited too. My sensitivity is nowhere near what it was at the start and never will be again. My wife of 20 years is pleased; I used to shoot so quickly. :DDid some banding sessions yesterday with three x 45min flaccid bandings. There is still no feeling in the shaft or glans. Erection is possible; tried intercourse last evening. Finally after 45 minutes without orgasm—she called it a day. No chance of any orgasm since there’s no feeling left, but she got satisfied and asked me to remember to reband. :This is totally my favorite feeling—to be numb enough to be unable to orgasm while still getting erect easily, so you can go with sex until really giving up trying to cum. The interesting thing is the first few times your girlfriend thinks it's amazing ("never had a guy last that long"), but later they get frustrated because her sexual skills seem questioned if she can’t make you cum. After about four days without an orgasm, the feeling is truly amazing—you are so friggin horny with no possible release. I find myself numb for two to three weeks after good banding (I band one hour at the base). : We recently discovered the joys of cock-banding. Banding every day for the past week. My whole cock is now numb and unfeeling! In heaven! Started doing this when ten, now 33 but never had time to go that far before. Does feeling come back then? Still have regular intercourse with my wife; she bands me up with whatever she can find. To go completely numb is mostly about compressing the dorsal nerve of the penis. This doesn’t take more time but requires a certain tightness in the right place. For me, a proper band at the base of a semi-flaccid penis works best. Even minutes work, though I like leaving it on for half an hour to be sure:-) :Sex is really interesting because I could still get erect but feel nothing—like wearing a strap-on or something—and go forever without cumming. Also frustrating being totally unable to orgasm, like forced chastity—but without any cage on. She encouraged me strongly toward this route! :I did four 30-minute sessions today with an hour break between each banding. Cock has been getting numb and constantly so since Saturday night. Just tried to cum; spent 90 minutes at it, hard as a rock (off and on), no luck. Giving up now, waiting for feeling to return. Has anyone had luck cumming while the cock is numb? :Really enjoying banding and the numb feeling. Starting to think I won’t be able to stop banding and may never cum again:) :It is sort of addictive. Best thing is making it a planned routine, banding once per week. Otherwise tempting to band almost daily, but I suspect that’s overdoing it. With weekly banding you get numbness benefits while ensuring no damage beyond that. Make it a weekly habit and once you master placement, it's quite effective—I can stay almost permanently totally numb with just hints of sensation returning.