Chastity and orgasm denial discussion

I’m wondering. Based on the title, I wanted to know if any of you have experienced post orgasm depression?

I was recently denied for six weeks. One night while edging repeatedly, something happened. This occurred without my Master’s permission. My Master and I are currently online together. I realize this is a major breach. It had been quite some time since I last orgasmed, roughly coinciding with when I received my PA.

I’m not sure what possessed me to play with what belongs to Master, but it happened. Several times I reached the edge. Then I simply rubbed the head just a bit more and ohmyyyygosssshhhhh…it was incredibly intense. It had been ages since anything felt like that. To make things worse, because that orgasm was so unbelievable, I tried to recapture that feeling the very next night. But it wasn’t quite right. It turned out to be just a squirting. There wasn’t the same deep emotional satisfaction as before.

I felt terrible about doing this. For much of the following week, I pretty much shut Master out. I was depressed. Recently, after an orgasm, I seem to experience this way of feeling often now.

So my question is: do any of you also get feelings of overwhelming depression after an orgasm? Or am I just reacting that way because I disobeyed?

By the way…because I shut out Master for that week, I am currently dealing with w/ the punishment. My master has cut off all communication with me for the next two weeks and I need to be ready to answer for my actions of cumming without permission and worst of all shunning and crawling into a hole and not letting him into my feelings and thoughts.

So, any thoughts on anyone else getting so depressed it leads to even worse choices? Thanks, elliot