How does the key holder determine timing for sex and orgasm?

We have been married for 52 years and spent the last 15 as a monogamous couple for the first time. Before that, we lived with a bisexual woman I knew and loved since high school for over two decades (I can’t recall the exact number). When we retired, our girlfriend was unable to move in at the last minute due to various circumstances. It’s a long story, but effectively, my wife and I are together again.

My bi wife isn’t particularly keen on sex with men; she prefers males for companionship rather than sexual activity, which explains our 15 years of me being locked in chastity. Her previous partner was very sexually dominant, so my needs were met well enough under an honor system—basically meaning no orgasms without her permission.

Until now, we had sex almost weekly, with my wife controlling when and how I climaxed. She is content having intercourse just a few times a year simply because she loves me, not necessarily because she craves it. Even during those moments, she often uses her vibrator for herself while allowing me to masturbate as she inflicts some sexual pain.

She prefers less frequent sex and fewer orgasms from me, whereas I prefer the opposite. We finally struck a compromise. I purchased an app that functions like the Wheel of Fortune. I configured two digital wheels: one determines how many weeks pass before our next encounter and whether or not I am allowed to orgasm; the other selects the number of strokes with a horse whip, which is quite painful. One section gives her free choice, while others range from 5 to 10 strokes.

In short, this system relieves my wife of guilt for denying me sex and climaxing because it is no longer purely her decision based on whim. It also protects me from being whipped until I am raw all the time. The settings allow for sex within 1 to 4 weeks, with or without an orgasm, up until the next spin. This balances out in favor of fewer orgasms and longer intervals between sexual activity. Essentially, there is a 30% chance that my next event will include both sex and an orgasm.

I have already gone over two weeks without either, but when I spun the wheel recently, I was not entirely pleased. I must wait three more weeks for intercourse, yet still no climaxing. Theoretically, we could go months with neither sex nor orgasms occurring together again. My wife wanted to wean me off all orgasms so I would stop requesting them constantly. This Wheel of Chastity serves as a compromise because the probability weights often result in weeks where both are absent most times. It is better than being cut off from climaxing entirely.

I do not mind much regarding intercourse since my wife stopped PIV and oral sex 35 years ago. I only achieve orgasm through masturbation when permitted, so jerking off to porn alone feels superior to having my wife crush my balls while forcing me to hurry up in front of her.

This arrangement is also better than her original plan to eliminate all orgasms. Additionally, she gave me a Christmas gift: a narrower and shorter version of the already compact Baby model cage I currently wear. She felt there was too much room inside the current one, making it easy for me to pull out since I can insert an entire finger even with my penis inside. Furthermore, when flaccid, my shaft only reaches half the length of this 2.1-inch cage. The new device is still not quite short enough, but at least it makes pulling out more difficult. In all these years, I have pulled out only once, which happened after slicing open my ankle to the bone while on a high dose of painkillers.

We never cared for games that decide when I climax because we felt they took power away from the key holder. However, considering our age and her desire for no more orgasms with sex reserved for special occasions, I thought this was a superior option. I just received notification that my wife has added January 8th as our next day for intercourse, but still no orgasm. I will have to spin again to discover the subsequent date and whether I will be permitted to climax then.

Theoretically, I can go months without sex or climaxes this way, which is better than sexual activity twice a year with zero orgasms. On a side note, my wife illustrates why one might avoid marrying a 20-year-old virgin who never had an orgasm, nor masturbated, and hadn’t seen or touched an adult penis before the internet age. She adored sex when I gave her the first climax of her life. However, after our first threesome with her beloved girlfriend, she realized that sexual satisfaction is much better with women than men. She tested this hypothesis and felt nothing from another man.

We remained married because my wife never engaged in intercourse with any woman unless I was present. Since her partner lived with us, I enjoyed the sexually dominant dynamics of our relationship. We were a great match, and threesomes became our standard for over 20 years, providing an excellent sex life. I did everything with everyone but mostly with the girlfriend since my wife still lacks deep knowledge about what men like during intercourse. Yet she loves me deeply and will try anything I ask; she is just less experienced regarding male sexuality.

In fairness, my penis measures 2 feet when flaccid (likely a typo for inches in context of length), unable to achieve erection anymore, and I am sterile. Nevertheless, my wife stood by me despite my inability to provide the children she originally desired.

Despite these factors, we made it work because our love is profound. As another side note, all three women I truly loved are bisexual. My wife and my ex-fiancée lean more toward girls. My ex has been married to a woman for 23 years now. Our previous girlfriend married a bisexual cuckold who joined us on vacations and handed his wife over to me until it was time to return home. She wed him in the final years of our poly triad, transitioning from living with us full-time to part-time. He is very sexually submissive. She married him for financial security in her old age, but he turned out to be a compulsive gambler who lost their fortune after retiring, forcing them both to keep working into their mid-70s. Plus, he has Parkinson’s disease, which made the arrangement less ideal for our ex-girlfriend. It was fun while it lasted.

Entering one of my private clubs with two attractive women on my arm was enjoyable. The men gave me a thumbs-up, while their dates shot me dirty looks.

So, marry someone sexually experienced like our ex-girlfriend, who knew every fetish on FetLife, whereas my wife knew practically nothing.