Vanillaish Transitioning From Play To Lifestyle

I’m starting this journal to help me transition from chastity play into a full-time lifestyle, something I’ve wanted for ages. Some background… I live in the UK and have been married for over two decades. We’ve dabbled with male chastity on and off for seven years now. I first noticed chastity back in 2016 while scrolling through cuckold porn. I saw a photo of a bald, middle-aged guy wearing just a t-shirt with a locked cock logo—and (as I later learned) a sturdy metal jailbird cage. At first, I was horrified. That fear shifted into fascinated horror, and then pure fascination. After a couple of months, I mentioned it to my wife, who is usually quite open-minded about our personal life. She hesitated at first but knew I could be stubborn (and no pun intended) so she cautiously approved us trying it out. She soon discovered she liked the softer, more attentive side of her otherwise dominant and sometimes grumpy husband. We’ve been playing intermittently since then. Between ill-fitting cages, communication hiccups, getting a frenum piercing, that piercing bursting open, and life in general, it’s been a bit bumpy. I’m currently wearing a kind3d cage and hope this time around it will settle into a permanent 24/7 arrangement. My main issue is that while my wife has supported me before, poor communication or my own foolishness meant we (mostly I) didn’t stick the landing. For instance, at first I told her I wanted her to be strict and harsh with denials—no doubt influenced by porn logic. She complied, but after about 10 days of frustration, thinking she didn’t care enough, I used my safe word. It turned out she did care; she was just doing exactly what I’d asked. So while she’s still happy to keep me caged because it benefits her too, she has definitely built up some walls a bit. I think this is because she expects me to give in eventually, so she doesn’t want to get too excited only to be let down again. She holds the key (a lovely piece of jewelry bought from the ) and wears it daily. She’s mentioned that seeing it makes her smile on most days. However, for me, chastity play/lifestyle is about both tease AND denial. The cage and her holding the handle cover the denial part, but the tease is missing due to her caution after past letdowns. My challenge over the coming months is to put in the effort to follow through without backing out of the denial, while working on our communication so she feels empowered, encouraged, and secure enough to provide teases that are fun for both of us. All provoking thoughts welcome!