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- Posting sinceAug 2026
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Even though I am relatively new to chastity—only a few weeks in—I want to share some background and the events that led me here, so we can continue this journey together.
My wife and I are both in our mid-40s and have been married for 20 years. We both have professional careers and two kids who are entering their teenage years.
When we got married, we were sexually inexperienced. I’ve always had a kinkier side, while my wife has remained quite vanilla.
In the early days of our marriage, we had sex frequently—perhaps not as much as it could have been, but often enough. Over time, however, our intimate moments became less frequent and almost entirely driven by me. I tried to introduce kinky elements, but she never really embraced them. She didn’t get angry or seem particularly shocked when I made suggestions; she just wasn’t keen on trying them.
Over the years, I’ve suggested things like her taking a more dominant role, golden showers for me, being a hotwife, pegging, and having sex more often. Yet we never really tried any of those out. I always made sure to ask if there was anything she’d like to explore or just discuss, but she rarely initiated. Her usual response was along the lines of, “I don’t think about sex the way you do” or “It’s not something I spend my energy on.” My suggestions weren’t constant; they were more like scattered conversations over our 20 years together. I tried to avoid pressuring her too much: suggest something, get a no, let it sit for months or years, then bring it up again gently.
In the last three years or so, sex has become rare—last year we might have had only three or four times. I’ve always masturbated regularly, pretty much daily. At first in our marriage, I did it secretly, but after a few years, I became more open about it until it became routine for us to discuss or even include her. It started with jokes like, “Let’s have sex… come upstairs… if you don’t hurry up, I’ll start without you,” and slowly evolved into situations where I’d make a move while we were in bed, she’d say she didn’t feel like it, and I’d reply, “That’s OK.. I’ll take care of things by myself.” She would then answer, “OK, have fun… maybe tomorrow I won’t be as tired,” as I proceeded to masturbate next to her while she fell asleep.
Here is a section from another post that explains our current dynamic: “She sometimes lets me borrow her used panties while I masturbate in bed beside her (I love the smell), but she doesn’t like interacting with me very often. Her participation while I masturbate has decreased, especially over the last couple of years. She used to give me handjobs when I wanted sex but she didn’t feel up to it; then it shifted to her playing with my nipples as I did (I love having them pinched), though that hasn’t happened in a while. Recently, her participation is even less… I ask for her panties as she changes into her PJs, and she says okay, takes them off, and hands them over. It’s not really a striptease; it’s very practical—usually while she talks about our day or what we need to do next. Meanwhile, I continue masturbating as she goes on with her routine (reading, watching TV, falling asleep).”
That covers the background for now. I know I haven’t explained how we got started in this chastity journey yet! I promise to get into that in my next post, but in the meantime, I’d love to hear your thoughts.