willshelockmywilly The Get-Away That Started It All

I’m going to go back and piece together the start of our story using some notes I made along the way. For now, though, I want to pick up right where we left off before I fall too far behind. Things have been incredibly busy for us lately, a pace that’s lasted since the pandemic began. She works in healthcare while I’m in retail between family obligations and our jobs.

This has meant the pandemic pushed us apart as a couple more than it brought us together under one roof to huddle up. Despite that, our overall relationship was struggling badly. We’ve both been fighting depression, anxiety, and overwhelming stress. Before the pandemic started, I’d mentioned chastity; she didn’t say no, but we bought some inexpensive cages. They had fitment issues and kept falling off, which I think really put her off.

I don’t blame her—she’s quite vanilla and traditional, likely thinking, “My perverted husband wants to strap metal to his dick now? How did my life get here?” But she wasn’t angry or upset about it. She said if chastity mattered to me, she’d try to keep an open mind.

I went back and ordered a cage with better fitment. I wore it when she was at work for some of the day, getting used to it and checking how well it stayed on, though she didn’t know. Shortly after the holidays, our relationship seemed to be really starting to heal from pandemic strain. She bought me lovely tickets to a show she knew I’d love for my December birthday—the event is in February. To me, this felt like a huge gesture because it showed she cared about what makes me happy, and it was the first time in ages she’d put that much effort into something specifically for me.

Due to hormonal shifts, she isn’t on birth control right now, which complicated sex even more than our strained dynamic already did. She planned to restart it early this year, but her OBGYN appointment got canceled because of COVID. She promised me it would be rescheduled before our trip, and that promise became the beginning of our journey.

I had become a bit of an addiction-prone masturbator and porn watcher when our nine-year relationship hit rock bottom. When she made me that promise to make her getaway weekend special for me (coincidentally falling just before Valentine’s Day—women are naturally romantic 🤣), I decided to reveal my vulnerable secret and commit to doing my part. She took it better than you might expect any traditional wife to handle.

She didn’t yell, get furious, leave, or cry. She was hurt by the revelation, and I felt ashamed because I knew those habits were painful for her whether we agree with porn-watching philosophically or not. If your spouse knows you’re watching it while they believe it’s wrong, that hurts deeply.

I suggested that in return for her planning this special weekend for me, we give chastity one more chance. If it worked out, we’d discuss further arrangements around or after the trip. And if she was still indifferent by then, I promised to throw them away and never bring up chastity again.

Now I have an account here on the forum—I’ll be surprised if my previous prediction holds true! This first journey post is to provide background leading into our start in chastity. I will add what happened during the first few weeks later from a few notes; it was an absolute whirlwind, time flew by. But I want to document the week leading up to that getaway weekend.

T-minus 7 days - Friday - We leave in one week. I had a long, stressful day at work, and we were apart tonight since she works nights. We spoke on the phone twice; I was short with her the first time while working, and the second time she unloaded some leftover work stress during her commute. We exchanged small talk texts throughout the evening.

She broke the news that her OBGYN appointment wasn’t going to be in time for our getaway. I was devastated because I’d been looking forward so much to unprotected sex that weekend. It had been months since we could do it without concern due to her being off birth control and pregnancy risks from other health issues; this hadn’t helped our relationship.

I initially felt like this was all her fault—for not pushing harder with the doctors or finding a solution sooner. I decided then that I wanted to quit chastity altogether, feeling it wasn’t fair to me. But then I had a major perspective shift—a realization I might never have reached if chastity hadn’t forced me to spend less time thinking about myself and more on her.

I realized maybe she doesn’t want this either. She didn’t ask for these problems; she didn’t want the appointment canceled, nor did she want it taking so long to reschedule.

Saturday - Reflecting on my thoughts last night really highlighted how selfish I’ve been, especially regarding sex and intimacy. It genuinely upset me quite a bit. Combined with her work schedule, this meant very little time for us together at the start of the weekend. However, Saturday night I spent about two hours locked while giving her a manicure (she loves SNS powder, though it takes forever now that she holds my key). She watched a movie she picked.