Chastity isn't Just About...

• Becoming a sissy
• Suddenly wanting to handle all the housework
• Becoming submissive in your daily life outside of sex
• Doing many things listed as what happens when you are locked in chastity.
• It’s not just about the cage.
• Not merely a way to keep you orgasm-free because you can orgasm while wearing any cage in several ways.
• Wanting your wife or girlfriend to have sex with other men.
• Getting pegged and/or whipped.
• Desiring to eat semen from other men.
• Being humiliated at home or around others.
• Desiring men to fuck you.
• Wearing feminine attire.
• Looking for that perfect escape-proof cage.
• Becoming someone’s slave.
• Not suitable for the large majority of men who try it.

Chastity is not self-locking. Why? Two main components are missing: a power exchange over your orgasms with a key holder and regular sex minus orgasms. Although valid and no less than Chasity, it is more appropriately classified as celibacy due to the lack of actual sex. The experiences differ greatly, but each holds equal value. Just different. I cannot relate to self-locking because I have given control over my orgasms to my wife, and we engage in regular sex minus my orgasms. If I lock myself up, I become both prisoner and warden. There is no one else who controls my orgasms; it’s only me, and I am too weak for that solitary burden. I have never met a man who self-locked for more than a few months. They might exist, but once again, that is celibacy like that practiced by Priests and Monks. It is not the same fetish. Equal yet different.

Another practice falling between self-locking and regular Chasity involves having a professional key holder controlling your orgasms BUT without having sex with you. Without the sexual component, it technically counts as Celibacy too, or perhaps something else someone has named. All three are valid fetishes but provide distinct experiences, which is why relating among various forms of chastity-typed fetishes can sometimes be difficult.

Chastity is simply giving your key holder control over your penis and when/how you have sex, whether locked or not. It is keeping a promise to refrain from making yourself orgasm. There are many ways to climax while locked up; just watch the porn videos to see it. So it is not the cage that matters most but rather the promise itself. The cage serves as the symbol of your promise, much like a wedding band. A wedding band signifies monogamy in most cases and is merely a ring that cannot stop you from cheating if you choose.

However, chastity can be part of a larger fetish dynamic like D/s Cuckolding, etc.. In this case, chastity is not the main focus but rather a minor component. Chastity stands on its own merit too. For us, it was part of our poly lifestyle where my wife’s girlfriend enjoyed sexually dominating me, and I needed her permission to climax. She would bring home condoms filled with semen from guys she had sex with, along with those from her husband, for me to pour into my mouth. However, we moved away from that dynamic as we aged; BDSM cannot be performed at the same high intensity it used to be for us. I do not heal quickly anymore and face other age-related changes, so we basically have sex using a vibrator on herself while playing with my nipples and balls/penis. She needs me to moan to trigger her intense orgasms.

For us, our sexual fetishes end at the bedroom door. Outside of that, and having to wear my cage all timer, the rest of our marriage is identical to our friends and family. It has always been this way even during our poly lifestyle with BDSM involvement. I was submissive only during sex; afterward, I became the dominant one in the poly triad while my wife was dominant over our girlfriend, who was dominant over her husband and sometimes other lovers in her outside relationships. I was also dominant over my other female partners.

The one thing all forms of chastity share is sitting down to pee.:)

I have been locked 11 years straight/24-7. To be honest, we do occasionally take a break for a few weeks or a month each year just to enjoy each other lovingly and check the plumbing down there. We have also practiced BDSM on and off for 49 years with a girlfriend who lived with us full-time and part-time for about 30 years. We figure that our marriage has included about 2000 threesomes. Probably more than some porn stars.:)

So what do you think about the various forms of “Chastity” play and differences between them?