When did our experience with chastity evolve into reality rather than just play?

I’ve been into fetish stuff for 47 years. To me, it was always just a game. Even when my ex-girlfriend was cuckolding me, I viewed it as play. It only became real when she asked three of our friends to gang bang her and then called me in to clean her up afterward. That felt too personal and genuine for my liking, so I showed her the door.

Later on, my wife started inviting other women into bed with us, which was enjoyable. She rarely had sex with those guests herself—just a quick kiss or a brief touch here and there. The girls focused mostly on me, while she would often sit back and watch. Things turned real again when she invited her best friend to move in; the two of them ended up having sex frequently over thirty years, shifting us from playful dynamics into living as part of a Poly Triad.

When we first started practicing chastity, it was for fun. My periods without climax lasted weeks long, and my wife wasn’t overly concerned with the physical chastity cage itself—she cared more about my vow to abstain from masturbation. I requested the device when her denial periods grew longer, but I quickly realized that being locked doesn’t stop me from masturbating easily; this holds true across any of my five cages. For me, it isn’t really about wearing the hardware. It’s all about keeping my word. Still, we kept chastity within the bedroom walls, and aside from me sporting a cage 24/7/365, our marriage remained largely unaffected.

Over the past year, this practice has shifted from play into what feels like a lifestyle. My wife has become very strict about keeping me locked; I am only unlocked for medical or dental appointments. She no longer takes it off for showers or sex. Previously, she would edge me weekly or perform oral more often than not. Now, she lies back while kissing her vibrator with one hand and squeezing my testicles with the other to make me moan, which arouses her. Outside of our intimate moments, she has grown assertive, threatening to paddle me if I don’t comply.

I used to negotiate the minimum number of times per year that I would climax. She would start at zero while aiming for eight, and we’d meet somewhere in between. Now, I have no say in anything. I’m unsure when or even if I’ll reach orgasm, nor how many I get annually. Before, she might give me one just to silence my whining; now, a paddle is her preferred response, so I stay quiet.

It feels real now, and it’s tough for me because I am naturally dominant (alpha). Under my leadership, we thrived well beyond expectations. My wife doesn’t want that dynamic to change since there is a significant gap between us in terms of education and intelligence. Sometimes I feel like nothing more than an income earner. The passionate kisses before bed are sometimes skipped or avoided entirely.

With our anniversary approaching in a few weeks, I’ll wait to see what happens next. Traditionally, this marks my orgasm time for the year, so since we’re hitting 45 years together, it feels more significant than usual. It’s hard to believe that when I turn 71, we will be celebrating our half-century milestone. According to actuarial tables and considering the excellent senior healthcare here—which offers a life expectancy higher than the national average—I’ll likely see our 60th anniversary as well.

What about you? Is your chastity still just playtime or has it become your reality? Please only married couples share, since those who self-lock experience things differently due to lacking power exchange dynamics. I can’t imagine how they manage.