tqbartleby Moving Into Locked Chastity

My wife and I are in our mid-50s, happily married for decades. We have a solid, trusting relationship that allowed us to explore a female-led, dom/sub dynamic—a gradual process. Early on, I shared my kinkier desires; she tried them but didn’t last long because her engagement wavered, and I didn’t want to force my preferences on her. Later, I realized I had been “topping from the bottom” and decided to be more careful.

I recognized my submissive personality online and have always been a subby guy, even before finding words for it, but I cultivated this trait. Before asking explicitly to become her sub, I was extremely helpful and deferential, anticipating her needs so much that some “manlier” friends joked about it. I brought up the idea openly and gave her reading material. She showed guarded interest and said she would look into it.

Progress happened in the bedroom. We always had a satisfying vanilla sex life, usually having intercourse after foreplay either together or with me going down on her afterward. Now, she sometimes has me go down first then tells me that’s enough for sleep. I find this very hot. Even hotter: we have intercourse while she brings herself to orgasm with me inside, then commands me to withdraw. No orgasm for me. This drove me wild. She also insisted I not masturbate unless permitted. We built up to three weeks without release for me. During these dry spells, I pleased her orally. But three weeks was nearly maddening; I couldn’t concentrate and became distracted and irritable, so she allowed more frequent release.

Meanwhile, she grew comfortable with my doing all the cooking and housework—polished shoes, hand-washed lingerie, morning tea in bed, evening wine. She found this very pleasant.

This has continued for a couple of years. Our sex life is primarily hers now; I attend to her ten or twelve times monthly. Letting me come two or three times per month, she sometimes looks after me herself, albeit distractedly. We haven’t had intercourse in about nine or ten months since she sees no need for my dick if she gets pleasure from my tongue and hands. I’m wistful but satisfied giving her what SHE wants.

It’s all on the honor system though; I am human and sometimes cheat without telling her, fearing her riding crop (another growing aspect of our dynamic). Even when not ejaculating, I often enjoy self-stimulation or “self-teasing,” which feels like cheating too.

I’ve mentioned chastity devices before with some distaste from my prude-at-heart wife who isn’t big on toys. Yesterday, however, I brought it up again by showing her pictures of caged men and their keyholders on my phone. Her eyebrows rose as she browsed the site commenting (including “Oh, no, I don’t like her boots”). This led to a heart-to-heart where she agreed I could buy one and give it a try.

So now I’m researching and saving up. I’ll start other threads with specific questions and return here to describe differences between the honor system and locked chastity. It will be an interesting journey indeed.

My first chastity device arrived just as my wife was rushing out for a business trip overnight, so I missed showing it to her! It's a CB-6000s (sold as such on eBay). At about one-fifth the manufacturer's price, assuredly a counterfeit. It looks fine to me, though I'm new at this. I said goodbye to my wife and opened the package. After scratching my head and watching an online instruction video, I managed to put it on using the largest ring size; it felt quite snug! Comfortable enough during my morning routine that I wore it to work. By lunchtime, I understood the forum observation: one often aims too big initially. The cage was okay, but the ring could have been smaller. It became somewhat uncomfortable not because of pinching or tightness, but because it slid down too much. I hadn't brought the whole kit to work, so I discreetly removed it in a toilet stall and will try again tomorrow with a smaller ring. Still, good to know even this cheap knock-off is easy to don and doesn't feel awful. At first, it was easy not to think about as I went about my day. As it worked its way down, only the testicles remained between the ring and cage, leaving scrotal skin pulling out under the ring. Not painful but not nice either. Experimentation continues. Tomorrow night I'll get my wife's first opinion of the thing.