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she wants it at ours, I cannot get past the idea

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29 Aug 2026 #1

alder_and_r

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We have been stuck on this for about two months and it is the first thing we have not been able to talk our way through.

She would rather it happened at ours. Her argument is practical and I understand all of it. Hotels cost money, they mean driving somewhere, and she says the whole business of a booking makes it feel like an operation rather than an evening.

I cannot get past it. I do not have a good argument, which is what makes it difficult. It is our house. The kids’ things are in the hall. I would be somewhere else and I would be picturing rooms.

Neither of us thinks the other is being unreasonable, which is somehow making it harder to resolve.

Have other people worked through this one? Is at home something you get used to, or is it a genuine line for some people that is fine to just have?

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Couples threads are logistics with feelings attached: what to write down, what to hand over, who pays for what, and how long any of it takes. Two of these pages are about the agreement itself, and the third is the honest answer about the calendar.

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