My mother lives eleven streets away and drops in without warning
Looking for somebody who understands why everything happens far from here
My mother lives eleven streets away, my sister is two stops down, and between them they are in my kitchen at least twice a week without warning. That is the whole geography of my life and it decides everything about how I do this.
What it means in practice is that nothing happens near home. Not a drink, not a coffee, not a walk. I have got into the habit of crossing the city for a first meeting, which sounds paranoid until you have had the conversation where your sister asks who that was at the bus stop.
Thirty seven, the west, married nine years, three years in this. My husband is entirely in it and finds the family logistics funnier than I do. The upside is that I have got extremely good at planning and I never cancel. The downside is that I am not available at short notice and never will be.
What I want is one person, seen every few weeks, somewhere well away from all of this. I would rather that were somebody's flat than a series of expensive evenings out.
Not looking for anyone who thinks I am overdoing the caution. Not looking for anyone who will suggest meeting near me because it is easier. Not looking for anyone who finds the idea of a woman my age with her mother round twice a week faintly comic, which it is, and which I do not need pointing out.
Before the first drink Replying goes through the connected platform, so nothing about you is shared until you decide to share it. Take contact slowly and keep identifying details back until trust is earned. Meet somewhere public the first time, with your own way home from it, and if you are a couple then go together. Tell someone outside it where you are going. Never send money to someone you have not met. And if a post or a reply reads wrong, flag it rather than talking yourself out of the feeling.
Before you answer a post like this
She is searching with a partner who agreed to it, so read the label carefully before you read anything else.
- Cuckold, hotwife, stag and vixen: the vocabulary map
- She comes with a partner. Vet both of them
- The first meeting: a drink, all three of you