I want every detail and I feel grubby about wanting them

Something I have never said out loud to anybody.

Afterwards, I want to know everything. Where they went, what she wore, what was said, all of it, in order. I ask, she tells me, and it is genuinely the part of the whole arrangement I look forward to most.

And then about an hour later I feel like a ghoul.

I cannot work out where the bad feeling comes from. She does not mind telling me. She has never once suggested I am asking too much. There is nobody being harmed by any of this and I am not asking for anything she is uncomfortable giving.

But there is something about the wanting that bothers me. As though a decent person would be politely incurious and I am standing there with my notebook out.

Is this normal? Does anybody else get the debrief and then feel odd about having wanted it? And is there a line somewhere that I should be watching for, or am I inventing a rule that does not exist?