Journals and blogs discussion

Sometimes I struggle to organize my thoughts, so this might wander a bit. The past four weeks have been incredibly cathartic for me. In just one month, I’ve learned more about myself AND my wife/KH than in the previous seven years of our marriage. This began as an effort to rebuild trust and has grown into something far greater than I ever expected. Let me begin with the emotions I’ve been feeling: over this single month, I have shifted from being a truly selfish individual—more concerned with my own joy and ignoring consequences—to someone who is happy and content simply ensuring my wife/KH’s happiness. Wow, is it really that straightforward? Can I become the man she married just by letting go and honestly seeking her guidance? I’ve noticed that as time in lock increases, our bond deepens and grows more intimate. I am starting to realize that what I viewed over the last few years as whiny or needy behavior from my wife/KH was neither. By removing my own thoughts and feelings from the equation, I have gained both clarity and insight into her. What I perceived as her wanting me to “suck up” when I’m home is actually her craving intimacy. With that lack of connection, our sex life and daily routines consumed us, causing a slow drift apart. We have never been closer than we are now, and we love it. A calmness has settled over both of us and spilled over to the kids as well. She looks positively radiant, making me feel like a giddy schoolboy in first-love bliss.

I’ve also noticed a change in my wife/KH; she is transforming into a woman who seems more confident than I have ever seen her. It appears she is finding her “comfort zone” within the boundaries of our new dynamic. For instance, when I speak to her and share how I feel towards her, I receive a “thank you” rather than just having her repeat herself back at me. I know she feels similarly, but it’s nice to see her simply accept my praise. She seems more relaxed and less guilty about me doing things for her. I’m going to quote one of her texts from this week that helps put everything into perspective for me: “Thank you for working to understand me. What a beautiful gift you are giving me! I’m touched more than you can imagine. The long heartfelt texts and thoughtful insights into my heart are the kind of food I have been starving for.” I hadn’t realized until that text arrived that I had lost sight of this. My wife/KH has also shown a firmer hand (no pun intended) in handling my transgressions. She takes time to understand that, like a child, sometimes I need something stronger than just a look or a lecture. She is blossoming into a truly dominant presence in our relationship.

All of this from an $87 piece of plastic and a small Master lock…who knew:happy0192: