Chastity and orgasm denial discussion

I’ve hit a bit of a crossroads and am unsure about my next steps. I’ve been giving serious thought to getting an actual chastity device.

Here is where we stand: Our marriage has been long-term and stable, with no infidelity or bedroom issues, and we communicate openly and honestly. That alone solves 99% of potential problems, which is excellent.

After experimenting extensively with CD / bondage in the past years, I realized that kink isn’t really for me; when doing it for real, it just felt silly, uncomfortable, and wrong. My one true kink was unexpected but now loved: orgasm denial. My wife appreciates this too and has no trouble receiving all my orgasms over months at a time. It took a while to convince her that I enjoy this side of things as well, but now she is happy to simply receive oral pleasure, saving penetration for very rare occasions, if ever. She doesn’t mind whether or not I cum, nor does she show much interest in being the keyholder or gatekeeper for me—and we don’t expect that to change. There’s no point forcing her into something she isn’t naturally interested in.

My wife and I have already cycled through many rounds of this goddess worship / orgasm denial experiment, relying on self-control alone for enforcement. I haven’t cheated during these periods and maintained long-term chastity for extended times (over a year). But now… the fantasy is too strong to ignore. I have a powerful desire to be locked up, which has grown stronger over time. I think I need the extra reinforcement of a device to keep myself from being able to get off.

From experimentation, I know that rigid tube devices—metal or plastic—won’t work for me; they pinch and cause pain and other issues. A full belt is completely out of the question. The device must be comfortable at night and discreet. So I’m considering a birdlock style device or a homemade version (you can cast silicone at home), secured with numbered cable ties. I believe this setup can hold securely against pull-out for my anatomy. I’m not sure if I’ll still be able to orgasm while wearing it, but ideally, I want to remain aroused yet unable to climax—or do so very rarely.

Since my wife has little interest in determining how long I stay locked, the device would primarily act as a deterrent against me trying to release when alone. This is where I’m uncertain about how far to go. If the fit and deterrent effect are good, I’d ideally wear it near-permanently. Every couple of years, if my wife gets the itch for penetration, it shouldn’t be impossible; being able to just snip a cable tie makes removal easy—but it’s also reassuring knowing she can check if I’ve slipped out otherwise.

Normally, I’d caution someone new in this situation from going too far based on fantasy. However, I’ve gone over a year without an orgasm before, which was quite enjoyable for both of us and not difficult at all. We have been doing this off-and-on for about four years. Someday, after we stop having children (which is likely), when we transition to purely oral worship of her—which we’ve already discussed—I think I’d like to wear the device permanently without orgasm. If it turns out I can still climax in it, that’s fine too; I would just be orgasming while pleasuring my wife instead, experiencing a slower, more frustrating release compared to a full spurting climax (I can do this today simply by pleasing her without stimulating myself, even wearing tight underwear). So it is possible I will continue to cum occasionally.

Just wondering if anyone here has been in a similar situation and how things turned out for you. The bigger question: does it seem reasonable for me to pursue the chastity path further, or is the device route just chasing a false end? Should I focus more on self-control? I’m sure she’ll find the device somewhat odd if we take that direction, but I’d talk to her first. It wouldn’t be the strangest thing I’ve proposed or done.

Required terms present: bondage, chastity, release (in ‘get off’), cable tie, orgasm