Chastity and orgasm denial discussion

I’ve spent most of my marriage in a sexually submissive role, though not with my wife. It was always restricted to the bedroom. Over the past two years, I’ve been working on getting her to take charge, but she feels guilty about it because it conflicts with her upbringing as someone who lives to please her husband—a concept even I don’t fully believe in or desire. We’ve tried a few times, yet her commands were hesitant, and after a short while, we reverted to our old routine.

As mentioned previously, my wife is recovering from major surgery, so I’m handling all her needs along with the housework, cooking, and shopping. I’m slowly improving at cooking but relying on microwave meals to help out. What’s changed is that she has moved from tentatively asking me to do things to simply telling me what to do. Even as she heals and becomes more independent, she continues to give orders—like making her coffee or dressing her. She seems very comfortable with this new power dynamic. I hope it sticks because I genuinely enjoy making her happy. This isn’t exactly the formal submission some guys talk about; I just like doing things that ease her life after many years where she put my needs first while serving me. There is a bit of guilt involved in letting her have her way for so long, but she always said she was content being the supportive wife.

Today, I did two loads of laundry, prepared breakfast and lunch for my wife, dressed her, handled some small chores around the house, and am now getting dinner ready. Later on, she’ll likely tell me to make coffee or a snack. I sent her a YouTube video featuring an interview with a dominant wife who has been married for 23 years. In an email, I asked if she wants to keep our current dynamic once she is fully healed; I haven’t heard back yet. We discussed it a few days ago, and she mentioned that I sometimes get angry at her and noted she wouldn’t be able to dominate me if she had to constantly worry about upsetting my mood. I told her I need time to adjust to not being in charge and taking non-sexual orders. Additionally, I am tapering off my feel-good medication, which has some side effects on my mood, including a tendency toward quick anger—according to the label.

I realize there are many fantasy-heavy posts out there, making it hard to find genuine tips from couples who actually live what they say. Most advice suggests I should be living like a slave kneeling at my wife’s feet while she has sex with a superior man. But I don’t feel incapable of satisfying her, nor do I kneel before everyone. My goal is simply to no longer run the relationship. I find myself happier when she gives the orders. Surprisingly, I’m even enjoying housework and learning to cook; it’s not as difficult as expected since there are only two of us. Any advice or stories on how your relationships evolved? I know I sound different from the typical submissive guy. I don’t see my role as being submissive per se; rather, I view my wife as the boss. My corporate counterpart doesn’t want me to call her Mistress or act formally subservient in front of others. She made me a partner because of my aggressive nature and strong negotiation skills. Hopefully, that clarifies things. I just want to be a supportive husband. I never felt like I dominated my wife; I always tried to incorporate her needs into every decision.

I don’t have her reply yet, so this might not matter much. Hope she gets back to me soon.