Introductions discussion

Okay, so my wife and I have been getting into this recently and in a quest to learn more, to have more tricks available I decided to start hunting the internet for more information. I found this site which has been great for information, and then of course I see the Foyer and it says to post and introduction and not to be a lurker. Well in acceptance of my new submissive mindset I decided I better follow instructions. So to give some background about me and why I’m here. First, I have to say my wife doesn’t know about this site but I may be sending her a link soon. My wife and I have only been married for almost 2 years now, but we’ve been together for about 10. About 6 years ago we started getting kinky in our relationship. We messed around with Strapons, D/s roleplay (very vanilla compared to most), and toyed with the idea of Chastity devices. We bought a CB3000 and played with it some. Was never really that serious. Eventually most of the toys were packed away and forgotten. I think some of the things I had issues with was accepting how much I enjoyed the strapon, being submissive, and things of that nature. Some of my own raising and experiences in life where I was bullied and such led me to feel I had to have this strong typical front of being a “man”. And then to give that up in the bedroom was an internal issue, regardless of how much I really really really enjoyed it. To some degree I was scared of losing her or having her look at me different, along with many other issues. Fast forward to the last year. Well I have never really gotten all those past things out of my head. I still always fantasized about them but was not confident enough to really feel like I could be honest with my wife about them. I’ve even recently been looking at other progressions of cuckolding and things of that nature which could be interesting although an extreme case of “Careful what you wish for”. Anyway in the last year, the wife has gotten more and more distant when it comes to sexual interest. And of course the more distant she got, the more masturbation and porn I would watch, which only made the issue progressively worse. I became the definition of “two pump chump”. At one point just for fun when we were fooling around I got out one of the dildo’s we had packed away and convinced her to let me use it on her and in pretty short order she was moaning and getting off like I’ve never seen her before. Afterwards while she was still all worn out and breathing heavy I asked a couple questions about if she had ever experienced anything like that before. I found out essentially that I have never gotten her off vaginally before. NEVER BEFORE. If that isn’t a hit to the ego I don’t know what is. For awhile that put me in a crappy mood, but eventually I realized that I can groan and moan about it or I can start looking to find out what I can change about it. So I’ve been doing a wide range of things. Now, my wife is generally, how do I put this? Maybe timid? She isn’t very creative when it comes to these kinky things. Everything and anything we do is initiated by me. If I ask her about fantasies or ideas or anything she always says I don’t know, what do you think? Some of it might be a confidence issue? I know I have also read that women tend not to completely let their “kinkiness” out with the person they love. I do know she loves me very much as I do her. And it is tough letting that side out in fear of what the other person might think or say. So that may be part of it, but that is just complete speculation on my part. So where are we now? (continued ran over character limit)