Chastity and orgasm denial discussion

To start with some context. Back when I first got married, the internet didn’t exist yet. The only sexual books and magazines available to me were Playboy, Penthouse, and Screw Magazine. Through them, I caught glimpses of various fetishes. Even so, I developed an interest in many different ones, though I often didn’t know their specific names or whether other people shared these interests. My partner and I just figured things out as we went.

Jump ahead to late 2013, when I began visiting sex websites (excluding those that primarily sold products). Why did I avoid them despite engaging in fetish play throughout my adult life? It felt hard to find people who were truly immersed in the lifestyle rather than just performing it online. My view then and now is that many don’t create their own fantasies but instead adopt someone else’s story or fantasy as if it were theirs. Take the Cuckold dynamic, for example. The typical elements appear to be:

• The husband struggles to satisfy his wife due to low stamina or a small penis. This concern about size is popular even among men with average-sized members.

• The wife enjoys unprotected sex with a large Black man (BBC) who takes charge of her.

• The husband feels humiliated before the BBC, often wearing women’s attire and being locked in chastity.

• After some time or right away, the wife brings her lover home so the cuckold can watch or listen.

• The husband helps prepare his wife for her date by bathing and dressing her, among other tasks.

• He acts submissive around the BBC, frequently fetching drinks for them.

• The BBC is always impressive in size.

• The wife or girlfriend adores the large cock and experiences multiple orgasms. A single BBC might provide three to four back-to-back, usually within minutes of each other.

• The husband is compelled to lick his partner clean, sometimes even cleaning up after the bull as well.

• He is also required to perform oral sex on the BBC.

• Occasionally, the BBC engages in anal intercourse with the husband or boyfriend.

• The female may see the same man repeatedly until they become a couple who both dominate the male.

• One or both partners begin discussing the possibility of the wife getting pregnant by the BBC.

I believe I’ve captured the common thread found in most online Cuckold narratives. However, some people read these stories and get sexually excited, adopting them into their own fantasy down to the smallest detail. Then they visit specialized Cuckolding sites where everyone repeats similar tales as either what they desire or claim is happening. This creates a shared fantasy with intricate details, which you see reflected in many posts.

My takeaway is that the internet allows us to share and define fantasies collectively. I hear too often about men who are disappointed because their wives or girlfriends don’t follow the scripted fantasy they’ve personalized. I believe the Mistresses here encounter men who have very detailed fantasies containing elements similar to those seen in porn or literature. I haven’t yet read of a cuckold who simply wants to sit back, watch his wife with another man while sipping Scotch, and laugh at how awkward the couple is because they don’t know each other well enough to anticipate preferences.

In my experience, I watched as the guy my wife was with attempted to be rough and dominant. She rejected his efforts. She certainly didn’t allow him to go bareback; that would have been madness. Surprisingly, the other man didn’t realize he needed to get hard again within minutes of finishing and continue until my wife had several orgasms. I also wasn’t sure if I was supposed to get an erection while watching, perform oral on the other guy, or clean up afterward. If only there were a script!:)

I’m not criticizing anyone because I’ve fallen into this trap myself with newer interests like Chastity and Tease & Denial. I adopted what I read as my own fantasy, which is easier than diving in blindly and improvising.:) However, I soon realized that my wife had her own script, different from mine. Often she has no specific plan since she doesn’t visit sex sites or may not even be aware of some fetishes I want to explore. None of what I have done or currently do follows the way it was portrayed online in text or video formats. Some rational and realistic elements are present, but much belongs more to the realm of fantasy than reality.

The few dominant women I still know complain about this constantly. They feel that if they don’t adhere closely to their partner’s script, he drifts away because his mental picture isn’t being met. It seems like the same scripted fantasies are repeated endlessly, keeping core elements but altering circumstances or emphasizing certain aspects more than others. Eventually, it all sounds identical to me.:) On the positive side, I no longer feel perverted for doing things I used to do because I’ve discovered many other men engage in similar or even more extreme behaviors.:)

I’d like to hear your thoughts on my perception: are fantasies being shared rather than conceived individually? The difference is that without examples, you must create your own fantasy, leading to significant variations between people. With the accessible internet, we no longer need to conceive a fantasy or figure out how to live it as much. Is this good or bad? Does it set us up for disappointment and dissatisfaction because shared fantasies contain unrealistic elements most won’t achieve without cost?

I know that once something gets into my head, I struggle with being satisfied by less. This has become an issue for me recently, so I tend to think it was better when I created my own fantasy and fleshed it out with my partner so we were aligned.:)