member_e84ec8c43c
- Posting sinceAug 2026
- Posts2
- Threads2
- Mostly inCouples
I’m heading to a big public gathering with the family, and I know they’ll be scanning for metal. So I bring it up to my wife, who replies something like, “we’ll just have to take our chances.”
We set off and reach the gate, where we’re instructed to pull any metallic items from our pockets and hold them out in our hands.
With keys clutched in my right hand and my cellphone in my left, the guard waves his wand across me. There’s a beep near my right pocket and crotch area.
He asks if I have anything there. My right pocket comes to mind—I remember clipping that tactical pen inside it out of habit when locking up for bed. So much for hiding my device! He takes it, sweeps again… PING goes the wand at my crotch.
Next he checks my left pocket… The crowd is waiting… The family is waiting… So I smoothly transfer my cellphone to my right hand along with the pen and keys, palm the remaining keys in my left hand, and slip them back into the left pocket without him noticing. Then I pull those same keys out again, and he lets me pass.
Whew!
Hours later we’re home, and I ask her if she noticed the delay at the gate. She says, “Oh no! I completely forgot about your cage! When you asked earlier, I thought you were talking about my hip replacement!”
Life is funny under lock and key.