Soooooooo, New Guy Seeking Advice

Hi all,

Before I get to my questions, I think it’s only fair to introduce myself first. To start with, I’m a 24-year-old guy who has long harbored fantasies that some might deem “unconventional.” In past relationships, I’ve always been open-minded and eager to try new things, provided they didn’t involve extreme pain or blood. Throughout those relationships, I’ve viewed myself as the dominant partner; being submissive rarely arouses me much. I’ve experimented with light bondage alongside my female companion and really enjoyed it, but we eventually split up, leaving me single again without a playmate to help explore my sexuality further.

After numerous relationships where sexual freedom felt lacking, I’m back on my own, still looking to push boundaries to discover what suits me and what doesn’t. After years of surfing the web, I’ve found a couple of ideas that have caught my interest significantly.

One is the concept of denied orgasm and forced orgasm for my female partner. The idea of pushing someone until all they can think about is letting go completely fills their world momentarily. Then there’s the notion of them losing themselves in the overwhelming sensations of cumming repeatedly, reaching a state where subspace takes over—they stop caring how they look or sound, as their bodies move independently, grinding against the toy I might be using—and just embrace the cycle of release.

My second recent fantasy began a few years ago when I stumbled upon a female chastity fiction page and found myself quite aroused by the idea of taking greater control over someone’s desires. This has somewhat merged with the previous one: wanting to keep my partner in a state of constant sexual frustration until she earns her release. Interestingly, this evolved into me wondering if it would turn me on too—I started imagining being locked up myself and craving release. Deciding to act on this hunch, I tried some self-chastity. I ordered a CB3000 and waited.

When the cage arrived in the mail, I rushed home to put it on but found myself far more aroused than expected. After “taking care of business,” I secured the cage around my manhood and locked myself up. However, due to my job and lifestyle, I found it difficult to wear for long periods without giving in. One night, I decided to try wearing it to bed. Unfortunately, during the middle of the night, arousal built up; apparently, the cage couldn’t contain my “power” and burst open while I slept. That was when I abandoned chastity.

That is, until recently, when I came across some articles on male chastity that led me to the Steelworxx website, where I first saw the Steelheart CB. Since then, I’ve been fantasizing about locking myself in this device. The idea of not being able to touch or even see my penis has mysteriously aroused me. I’ve also thought about how to make it more secure because I read that ball capture devices aren’t perfect and a determined person could slip out. Since I don’t want an actual belt-style chastity device, I wondered what options existed. Fortunately, there’s a PA attachment for Steelworxx belts, which is convenient since I happen to have a piercing. Still, I found some issues with this setup.

Even though one technically shouldn’t be able to get out of such a configuration, videos show that people can withdraw about 3/4 of the way out because the PA just slides along the wire (I believe it was in Thumper’s blog). The more I thought about it, I still prefer the idea of the CB not slipping off at all—the tip of my penis locked firmly at the end of the tube with no chance of even partial withdrawal. I’ve seen photos of people who modified their CBs with small padlocks through the PA, but they seem clumsy and likely uncomfortable. In one case, a guy mentioned he could only wear it like that for short periods because the loose lock pulled and pinched the skin around the piercing—a big turn-off for me since I’m not fond of pain.

I’m looking for a solution that can be worn comfortably for extended periods.

But this leads to my other issue: what about the key? Since I have a job and lifestyle that might require me to go “bare” at any moment, I can’t just mail the key away. Also, finding a second-party keyholder doesn’t seem ideal because I’d need near-instant access to remove the device if necessary. I know the string-and-ice trick works well for short-term chastity, but it feels too easy to give in and run it under hot water.

Any advice you could offer a new guy would be greatly appreciated.